Trip To Europe « Result #1 on Mar 12, 2009, 10:11pm »
A beautiful young New York woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. But just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young sailor stopped her.
"You have so much to live for," said the sailor. "Look, I¡¯m off to Europe tomorrow and I can stow you away on my ship. I¡¯ll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy."
With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Europe, the woman accepted. That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches and make love to her until dawn.
Three weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.
"What are you doing here?" asked the captain.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied. "He brings me food and I get a free trip to Europe. Plus he¡¯s screwing me."
"He certainly is," replied the captain. "This is the Staten Island Ferry".
The Window of Heaven « Result #2 on Mar 12, 2009, 10:11pm »
The window of Heaven is open, The angels can fly to and fro, And those that I love can all gather, And look down at Christmas below. For Christmas is special in Heaven, The love is so easy to see, And down from the window at Christmas, God sends a present to me. 'I will forever be with you, Your side, I shall always be near, And though you may not always see me, In your heart I will always be there. I will warm up your soul during Christmas, My love is a fire burning bright, Then my blanket of love will surround you, And keep you all through the night. On the brink of your Christmas morning, I'll be the star at the top of the tree, Shining my light on your teardrops, You'll see a reflection of me. Then as the gifts are all opened, With the children encircling the hearth, Look deep in their little faces, Their kisses will be from my heart. For the window of Heaven is open, My love can pour out so free, And those that I love can all gather, And look up to Heaven at me.'
Hypnotist Error « Result #3 on Mar 12, 2009, 10:11pm »
It was opening night at the Orpheum and the Amazing Eileen was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do her stuff.
As the Amazing Eileen took to the stage, she announced, "Unlike most stage hypnotists who invite two or three people up onto the stage to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."
The excitement was almost electric as the Amazing Eileen withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from her coat.
"I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. Its been in my family for six generations."
She began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch.... "
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface.
Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until suddenly it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.
For You I Wish « Result #4 on Mar 12, 2009, 10:11pm »
I have looked at Christmas: holly red Secret Santa: rich pudding-fed: Standing with my eyes shut, on tip toe I¡¯ve stood hopefully under mistletoe. Now, like scrooge, I look at the season new I smile less and party with few And all the words of love now lie Mock silently, ruffle and die. I have looked at Christmas from both sides now From happy and sad and still somehow It¡¯s not the season that I see It¡¯s my own candied fantasy. But for you I wish the happy red show, Stockings filled with family galore; Soul food cooked in kitchens known And sleep that is sound in a bed at home. Because the spirit is not in wishing for ones self you see, And the dreams and the hopes are for your fantasy So I wish you this Christmas old love anew And silent wishes that will do come true.
Eliza and Athena « Result #5 on Feb 28, 2009, 1:10am »
"I made this myth up for my Language arts class. I hope you like it" Once there was a young girl named Eliza. She was the daughter of a king and so she never had to work. She became very lazy. She had her servants do everything for her. "I am so very thirsty, and my glass is on the table. Please get it for me." she called. Immediately a servant picked the glass up from the table next to Eliza and held it up to her lips until Eliza was no longer thirsty. The next day, Eliza was walking to dinner when her hat fell off. She called for a servant and a young man ran over, picked up the hat, dusted it off , and placed it back on Eliza's head. She continually called for her servants to do simple tasks for her. Her father noticed her laziness and decided to punish her. He set her in a room with only a loom and some yarn. No servants were allowed in the room. "You will stay in this room, not eating or drinking until you have woven a blanket for me. You have to do all of the work by yourself. Call for me when you are done". The king left Eliza all alone in her room. Eliza called for her servants, but none appeared. Then she remembered her father telling her about Athena, the goddess of wisdom and handicrafts. She called for Athena over and over until finally, she fell asleep. While she was sleeping, she had a dream. Hermes spoke to her in her dream. He said "Athena has heard your pleas for help. She is very angry with you. She will come to you and inform you of your punishment". Eliza awoke very frightened. She then saw that there was an owl on the edge of her window. The owl spoke to her. "I am Athena. You have called upon me to do your work. You must be punished for your laziness. You are a mortal of high importance, therefore you have no work to do. I am going to make you a lowly animal. You will have to work constantly just to stay alive. People will look down at you in disgust. You will be killed just because you are insignificant. All of your children and their children and so on will have the same fate". Eliza worked for the rest of her life. All of her children have the same fate. They are doomed to be ants for the rest of their lives.
How the Elephant got his trunk « Result #6 on Feb 28, 2009, 1:09am »
Once upon a time, there was a sad elephant. He was dirty and stinky, because he could not reach to wash his back. All the other animals didn¡¯t play with him because he was smelly. Elephant sat under a tree, where nobody could see him. He started to cry. His head was hanging down, crying big tears. He sat and cried for days. One day, when his tears had dried up, he went to itch his head and he felt a bump on his back. Then he noticed his nose had stretched because it had got wet with all the crying and it was now a long trunk which had hit him on his back. He went to the river and got his trunk, put it in the water and sucked the water up. Then he sprayed his back with water. All the other animals came over to him and said ¡°you are so clean and smell so lovely. Do you want to play with us?¡± The elephant was so happy and said ¡°yes.¡±
The Good Side of Fear « Result #7 on Feb 24, 2009, 11:34pm »
I had the chance to sit down at Jack Murphy Stadium in San Diego with Joe Montana before he went onto the field with the San Francisco 49ers against Denver in Super Bowl XXIV (1989).wow power leveling, We didn't know it then, but this would be Joe's last Super Bowl, his fourth championship, yet another high point in one of the most remarkable careers not just in pro football, but in all of sports. Joe seemed restless. wow power leveling,He had already won everything there is in this game - the respect of teammates and opponents, coaches and owners, and especially the fans - plus all the awards: multiple League Most Valuable Player (MVPs), Super Bowls, wow power leveling,and Super Bowl MVPs.
I said, "Joe, you can't possibly be scared."
What he said to me is, wow gold,I believe the key to his success and the reason I consider him the greatest quarterback of all time. He said, "If you're not afraid of losing, then losing means nothing."
Every time Joe Montana stepped on the field, he was scared. wow gold,That element of fear kept him sharp through his entire career. If we want to be at our best, we need that same element of fear burning inside of us. It sharpens the focus; keeps the edge.
There isn't a day that goes by that I don't remember what Joe said, wow gold,realizing the truth of it. It has helped me. I know it will surely help you.
Steal What? « Result #8 on Feb 24, 2009, 11:33pm »
This story took place several years ago,wow power leveling, when our boys were about eight years old. It was the first game of the season, and the first game in which the boys began pitching. I went out to discuss ground rules with the umpire and realized that is was also the first year that the boys could steal bases. Unfortunately, we had not gone over this in practice. wow power leveling,So I hurried back to the dugout, gathered my players and proceeded to go over the rules.wow power leveling, As I got to the subject of stealing bases, I announced enthusiastically, "And this year we get to steal!" The news caused the boys to erupt into yelling and cheering. wow gold,Their response left me thinking positively that this might all work out okay after all. wow gold,Then the cheers died down, and as our team was about to take the field, one player loudly exclaimed,wow gold,"Steal what?!" I let out a groan as I realized that the question had come from my son!
Puppies For Sale « Result #9 on Feb 17, 2009, 10:15pm »
A store owner was tacking a sign above his door that read ¡°Puppies For Sale.¡± Signs like that have a way of attracting small children, and sure enough, a little boy appeared under the store owner¡¯s sign. ¡°How much are you going to sell the puppies for?¡± he asked.
The store owner replied, wow power leveling,¡°Anywhere from $30 to $50.¡±
The little boy reached in his pocket and pulled out some change. ¡°I have $2.37,¡± he said. ¡°Can I please look at them?¡±
The store owner smiled and whistled and out of the kennel came Lady, who ran down the aisle of his store followed by five teeny tiny balls of fur. One puppy was lagging considerable behind. Immediately the little boy singled out the lagging limping puppy and said, wow power leveling,¡°What¡¯s wrong with that little dog?¡±
The store owner explained that the veterinarian had examined the little puppy and had discovered it didn¡¯t have a hip socket. It would always limp. It would always be lame. The little boy became excited. ¡°That¡¯s the little puppy that I want to buy.¡±
The store owner said, ¡°No, you don¡¯t want to buy that little dog. If you really want him, I¡¯ll just give him to you.¡±
The little boy got quite upset. He looked straight into the store owner¡¯s eyes, pointing his finger and said, wow power leveling,¡°I don¡¯t want you to give him to me. That little dog is worth every bit as much as all the other dogs and I¡¯ll pay full price. In fact I¡¯ll give you $2.37 now, and 50 cents a month until I have him paid for.
The store owner countered, wow gold,¡°You really don¡¯t want to buy this little dog. He is never going to be able to jump and play with you like the other puppies.¡±
To this, the little boy reached down and rolled up his pant leg to reveal a badly twisted,wow gold, crippled left leg supported by a big metal brace. He looked up at the store owner and softly replied, ¡°Well,wow gold, I don¡¯t run so well myself, and the little puppy will need someone who understands!¡±
Love Notes « Result #10 on Feb 17, 2009, 10:15pm »
From the time each of my children started school, wow power leveling,I packed their lunches. And in each lunch I packed, I included a note. Often written on a napkin, the note might be a thank you for a special moment, a reminder of something we were happily anticipating, or a bit of encouragement for an upcoming test or sporting event. In early grade school they loved their notes-they commented on them after school, and when I went back to teaching, wow power leveling,they even put notes in my lunches. But as kids grow older they become self?conscious, and by the time he reached high school, my older son, Marc, informed me he no longer needed my daily missives. Informing him that they had been written as much for me as for him, and that he no longer needed to read them but I still needed to write them, I continued the tradition until the day he graduated.
Six years after high school graduation, Marc called and asked if he could move home for a couple of months. He had spent those years well, graduating Phi Beta Kappa magna cum laude from college, completing two congressional internships in Washington, wow power leveling,D.C., winning the Jesse Marvin Unruh Fellowship to the California State Legislature, and finally, becoming a legislative assistant in Sacramento. Other than short vacation visits, however, he had lived away from home. With his younger sister leaving for college, I was especially thrilled to have Marc coming home.
A couple weeks after Marc arrived home to rest, regroup and write for a while, he was back at work-he had been recruited to do campaign work. Since I was still making lunch every day for his younger brother, wow gold,I packed one for Marc, too. Imagine my surprise when I got a call from my 24?year?old son, complaining about his lunch.
"Did I do something wrong? Aren't I still your kid? Don't you love me any more, wow gold,Mom?" were just a few of the queries he threw at me as I laughingly asked him what was wrong.
"My note, Mom," he answered. "Where's my note?"
This year my youngest son will be a senior in high school. He, too, has now announced that he is too old for notes. But like his older brother and sister before him,wow gold,he will receive those notes till the day he graduates-and in whatever lunches I pack for him afterwards.
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